Round 3 has been going pretty much as well as the first two rounds. The main difference seems to be that with each round the side effects go a little deeper and take a little longer to work through. I've been trying to keep up with work and Kim would tell you I've been doing way to much. Which in fact led to our first kind of scary incident.
On Friday of chemo week I went to the oncology center to dump the pump. I'd been working a lot of hours during the week and Friday was no exception. Problem was that Friday I wasn't keeping track of what I had to eat or drink. On the way back home from the doc I blacked out in the car for a few minutes. Kim kinda freaked (of course, who wouldn't) but stopped the car, got me revived and back home. Hit some high cal drinks and got some food in me and everything came back to normal. Quick consult with the oncology office, everything OK. Big thanks to Jim and Krista for helping get things settled down. I'm sure I haven't heard the end of that one yet.
Late this week I started having a low grade fever that came and went. Wasn't too worried about it until it started to spike yesterday. My immune system is now at it lowest point in the cycle so I called the doc. Had to run in for some quick blood work and a shot to boost my white count. That and some antibiotics got me back on track. Nothing that was a big deal.
So God continues to protect me throughout all this and I can tell you that even knowing where these tumors are I cannot find them any longer. I know they are not completely gone and I'm not at the end of the road but I am extremely encouraged by the results. I also continue to be amazed by a gracious God who knows my needs and fears and gives me what I need to meet and overcome them. People bringing over meals, neighbors shoveling the driveway (yes, we actually had a significant snow in Evansville), numerous cards and emails. Thanks to all for you continued prayers and support.
31 January 2010
18 January 2010
Rejoice!
I praise and thank the Lord tonight. We had a very good check up with the Dr. Ahmed today. The MRI results from last week were in and the tumors have shrunk by half. This is in the "better than expected" category. Part of the discussion today was to check and alter the course of treatment if necessary. Based on the success of the treatment and how well I have been tolerating medication we're going to go with a third round of chemotherapy before moving on to radiation. The clear statement from Ahmed today was that we were looking to cure this, not control it. The chemo gives the best attack on the system overall to kill any potentially undetectable cells elsewhere in the body. It also continues to knock back the existing tumors which makes the field requiring radiation smaller.
God has been very good to me throughout this treatment. He has protected me from any but the mildest side effects and has begun the healing process through the doctors to whom He has led us. He has brought my friends and family, and many others whom I don't even know, close to me for prayer and support. I cannot be more blessed and thankful for those who have lifted me up.
I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; my cry came before him, into his ears...He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
God has been very good to me throughout this treatment. He has protected me from any but the mildest side effects and has begun the healing process through the doctors to whom He has led us. He has brought my friends and family, and many others whom I don't even know, close to me for prayer and support. I cannot be more blessed and thankful for those who have lifted me up.
I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangled me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; my cry came before him, into his ears...He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters.
-Psalm 18:1-6, 16
11 January 2010
Life Without Spit
I'm pleased to be writing this evening that chemo round two has gone quite well. Everything pretty well back to normal again at this point. MRI coming up on Thursday morning, results to be reviewed on Monday, then round 3 or on to radiation. I have to admit, the longest lingering and seemingly most impactful side effect has been dry mouth. I have trouble generating enough spit. The result of all this is that things taste funny and I have to drink a lot of water. I'm clearly not suffering. Which really causes me to think about what lies further ahead for me. The drama of the initial diagnosis and first treatment has passed. I am completely thankful that I have had very little other than discomfort through it all. But no spit? Is this the worst of it?
Suffering - no not at all. Not like those I have seen over the last few weeks who have been battling a disease for years. Not at all like someone who has endured poverty or hunger. Or like those who have been unjustly held captive or tortured. And certainly no where near the suffering that Christ endured on our behalf so that those who believe can enter heaven to spend eternity with Him.
So to this point my life has only had moments of discomfort. I am not looking forward to the radiation treatments as I will be barely able to speak or swallow. I'll eat through a tube - can't wait. I'll probably want to complain but hope I don't. I hope to rejoice in my condition, whatever it may be, recognizing that there are those who are much worse off than I and who have no earthly hope of relief from their condition. It's my desire to take my inspiration from those who live by faith and the knowledge that this life is but vapor and passes quickly. Surely I'll be able to manage through these few short weeks.
Suffering - no not at all. Not like those I have seen over the last few weeks who have been battling a disease for years. Not at all like someone who has endured poverty or hunger. Or like those who have been unjustly held captive or tortured. And certainly no where near the suffering that Christ endured on our behalf so that those who believe can enter heaven to spend eternity with Him.
So to this point my life has only had moments of discomfort. I am not looking forward to the radiation treatments as I will be barely able to speak or swallow. I'll eat through a tube - can't wait. I'll probably want to complain but hope I don't. I hope to rejoice in my condition, whatever it may be, recognizing that there are those who are much worse off than I and who have no earthly hope of relief from their condition. It's my desire to take my inspiration from those who live by faith and the knowledge that this life is but vapor and passes quickly. Surely I'll be able to manage through these few short weeks.
28 December 2009
Check Up and Round 2
The holidays have been far more enjoyable than I had imagined they would be. Except for my hair deciding to fall out on the morning of Christmas eve everything was quite normal. I've been blessed with good results and comfort during the holiday season. In case you haven't seen the new look I am sporting ...
I am extrememly grateful for all of your support, all known and unknown. Please continue with your prayers as I know this is contributing towards achieving a positive outcome. As I have stated before, it is all very encouraging and uplifting for me.
Happy New Year to you all and best wishes in the coming months.
Had blood work and a check up with the doc before chemo today. Everything OK on the blood work and pretty good news from Dr. Ahmed. Seems the two known tumors in the lymphs have shrunk significantly and he had trouble locating them just through feeling for them. No indication from the doc as to whether that was expected but I sure feel good about it. He also said I was tolerated the meds very well especially since this is what he described as a pretty "hot" course of treatment. So while we are far from declaring victory this was all in all a very good, at least in my mind, interim report. None of this do I take credit for, of course. I can only attribute it to the right course of treatment and the power of all your prayers.
I am extrememly grateful for all of your support, all known and unknown. Please continue with your prayers as I know this is contributing towards achieving a positive outcome. As I have stated before, it is all very encouraging and uplifting for me.
Happy New Year to you all and best wishes in the coming months.
21 December 2009
Priceless
Getting a portal implanted - $6337
One round Dr. Ahmed's Magic Elixer - $9746
Having a great bunch of friends and family - $$Priceless$$
Seriously, you all have been a great support as I went through this first round of chemotherapy. I weathered the first cycle really well with only some minor level of discomfort and everything at this point is largely back to normal. I'm really thankful I will be able to enjoy the holidays without having to deal with side effects from the treatments. Next round begins the 28th. I'll be a real dud by New Year's eve. Kim is going to have to either prop me up in a major way or find another date.
Speaking of priceless, I can't help but contemplate the greatest gift we've all had bestowed upon us.
"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." Mat 1:21
"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us." John 1:14
Merry Christmas
One round Dr. Ahmed's Magic Elixer - $9746
Having a great bunch of friends and family - $$Priceless$$
Seriously, you all have been a great support as I went through this first round of chemotherapy. I weathered the first cycle really well with only some minor level of discomfort and everything at this point is largely back to normal. I'm really thankful I will be able to enjoy the holidays without having to deal with side effects from the treatments. Next round begins the 28th. I'll be a real dud by New Year's eve. Kim is going to have to either prop me up in a major way or find another date.
Speaking of priceless, I can't help but contemplate the greatest gift we've all had bestowed upon us.
"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." Mat 1:21
"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us." John 1:14
Merry Christmas
12 December 2009
Observations
All the cards, calls, texts, emails are great. These are really uplifting for me. I really appreciate all of you and am blessed to have such people in my life.
As the week progresses the energy is really draining from me. I've worked when I could but find in increasingly difficult to cocentrate for longer periods of time. Thankfully I shed the pump yesterday and the poison is no longer being injected. I'm hoping in a few more days I'll start to feel an upswing again.
Physical symptoms were manageable this week. In reality, while it is uncomfortable, it has not been horrible. Headaches almost all the time but relatively controllable. I have no feeling of being hungry or full but am able to eat. Things definitely taste different but still ok. Dry, pasty mouth. No real nausea to speak of.
The head game this is playing on me is really the most difficult part right now. Left is right, up is down - everything seems to need to be re-calibrated. All my worries surfacing. I don't know how to make commitments to people because I don't kow what I will be feeling like. Clearly the human in me is still holding on and not letting go of this to God. This is where I need your prayers.
Even in this short period of treatment I have gotten a whole new perspecitve on many things. There are easy one's - make the most of now, don't take your health for granted. But there are truly places where this will go much deeper. The spiritual side of this is just beginning and I'm seeing Kim in a much different way than I have in years. There is a lot of upside potential in this.
As the week progresses the energy is really draining from me. I've worked when I could but find in increasingly difficult to cocentrate for longer periods of time. Thankfully I shed the pump yesterday and the poison is no longer being injected. I'm hoping in a few more days I'll start to feel an upswing again.
Physical symptoms were manageable this week. In reality, while it is uncomfortable, it has not been horrible. Headaches almost all the time but relatively controllable. I have no feeling of being hungry or full but am able to eat. Things definitely taste different but still ok. Dry, pasty mouth. No real nausea to speak of.
The head game this is playing on me is really the most difficult part right now. Left is right, up is down - everything seems to need to be re-calibrated. All my worries surfacing. I don't know how to make commitments to people because I don't kow what I will be feeling like. Clearly the human in me is still holding on and not letting go of this to God. This is where I need your prayers.
Even in this short period of treatment I have gotten a whole new perspecitve on many things. There are easy one's - make the most of now, don't take your health for granted. But there are truly places where this will go much deeper. The spiritual side of this is just beginning and I'm seeing Kim in a much different way than I have in years. There is a lot of upside potential in this.
07 December 2009
Feeling Fortunate Tonight and God's People
Well the short story from Chemo Day 1 is that I am feeling quite normal. Drugs started flowing about noon beginning with the one most likely to cause problems. Kind of waiting for something to happen - like I'm crossing the interstate blindfolded. Every progressing day is quite unknown and I'm just waiting for something to hit. I'm wearing a pump through the end of the week with the last of the drugs so I'm not sure if this one will cause me any problems or if the others have some hang time before setting me back. Don't know how I am going to sleep because I've drank about 3 litres of water today and still going. Supposed to stay uber hydrated for the next week. Regardless, I'm feeling thankful for today.
Two big take aways today. First, there are a lot of really sick people out there and I'm not one of them. Therefore I am feeling quite fortunate this evening. I spent the day in a treatment suite that is kind of an open area with lots of stations around to administer chemotherapy. Lots of folks in and out during the day. Unless there is something seriously wrong with my mirror, many of these folks looked to be in much worse shape than me. And after getting to talk to a few of them I haven't reached a point of extreme pain, lengthy treatment (2 years), serious side effects. I am truly counting my blessings and it really makes your heart ache for these people. Good people who have this terrible thing in their life.
Second is the real observation of the sovereignty of a real God who is putting people into my life on a daily basis to help Kim and I get through this. From the guy who pushes me from pre-op to the operating room and back, the dentist, the pastor who is the husband of the lady across from me today, and countless other incidental (at least it seems so to me) and not so incidental encounters with survivors and friends and acquaintences. You can't see it while it is happening but it is amazing to look back at the order God planned this for me. Being able over the last year to re-connect with some great old friends. The people and new friends and neighbors he has put in our lives here in Evansville who will be a great help to Kim and me. A terrific family who has always been there. To paraphrase - With God on your side how can you lose?
Two big take aways today. First, there are a lot of really sick people out there and I'm not one of them. Therefore I am feeling quite fortunate this evening. I spent the day in a treatment suite that is kind of an open area with lots of stations around to administer chemotherapy. Lots of folks in and out during the day. Unless there is something seriously wrong with my mirror, many of these folks looked to be in much worse shape than me. And after getting to talk to a few of them I haven't reached a point of extreme pain, lengthy treatment (2 years), serious side effects. I am truly counting my blessings and it really makes your heart ache for these people. Good people who have this terrible thing in their life.
Second is the real observation of the sovereignty of a real God who is putting people into my life on a daily basis to help Kim and I get through this. From the guy who pushes me from pre-op to the operating room and back, the dentist, the pastor who is the husband of the lady across from me today, and countless other incidental (at least it seems so to me) and not so incidental encounters with survivors and friends and acquaintences. You can't see it while it is happening but it is amazing to look back at the order God planned this for me. Being able over the last year to re-connect with some great old friends. The people and new friends and neighbors he has put in our lives here in Evansville who will be a great help to Kim and me. A terrific family who has always been there. To paraphrase - With God on your side how can you lose?
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