11 January 2010

Life Without Spit

I'm pleased to be writing this evening that chemo round two has gone quite well.  Everything pretty well back to normal again at this point.  MRI coming up on Thursday morning, results to be reviewed on Monday, then round 3 or on to radiation.  I have to admit, the longest lingering and seemingly most impactful side effect has been dry mouth.  I have trouble generating enough spit.  The result of all this is that things taste funny and I have to drink a lot of water.  I'm clearly not suffering.  Which really causes me to think about what lies further ahead for me.  The drama of the initial diagnosis and first treatment has passed.  I am completely thankful that I have had very little other than discomfort through it all.  But no spit?  Is this the worst of it?

Suffering - no not at all.  Not like those I have seen over the last few weeks who have been battling a disease for years.  Not at all like someone who has endured poverty or hunger.  Or like those who have been unjustly held captive or tortured.  And certainly no where near the suffering that Christ endured on our behalf so that those who believe can enter heaven to spend eternity with Him.

So to this point my life has only had moments of discomfort.  I am not looking forward to the radiation treatments as I will be barely able to speak or swallow.  I'll eat through a tube - can't wait.  I'll probably want to complain but hope I don't.  I hope to rejoice in my condition, whatever it may be, recognizing that there are those who are much worse off than I and who have no earthly hope of relief from their condition.  It's my desire to take my inspiration from those who live by faith and the knowledge that this life is but vapor and passes quickly.  Surely I'll be able to manage through these few short weeks.